A Chilling Question

Ah, Clancy! So glad you've dropped by, Old Chap. I wanted to ask you a question that has been weighing on my mind. It involves a sensitive, er, subject quite dear to all of the canine species. Mainly, how on earth do you go to the bathroom out there when it's -40 degrees outside? I've seen snow. I even visited it once, and let me tell you, I had no urge to sit down with the newspaper!

I don't really appreciate the winter weather here. I see no reason why I should have to piddle outside when it's wet and rainy. In fact, a, ahem, friend of mine has even been known to go in the house rather than face such harsh and disturbing bathroom conditions. (Seriously, Humans, would you like to do your business with rain running down your neck?)

How is this going to work for me in a blizzard? I've overheard Mom worrying about it, too. Something about an all tile house, I think. Perhaps you have your own little heated doggy outhouse? Lean-to? Awning!? Anyway, I'd appreciate any advice you may have, or input from your own experiences.

Thank you. I remain, as always,

Your devoted cousin,
Finley